So I have been holding out on all of you. There is a huge piece of the puzzle I haven't yet shared. At first I wasn't sure if I was going to discuss this part of our lives here in Hong Kong at all but I have been poked and prodded by my few friends who know into sharing.

Also B thinks I should lay it all out there. He says that when this blog is turned into a screen play and becomes a major motion picture (in which I would be played by Sandy Bullock and he would be played by Tom Brady), Oprah is going to totally call me out just like she did with that guy who wrote A Million Little Pieces.

So here goes.

We are in the process of hiring a full time domestic helper. Aka: housekeeper, nanny, cook, my new BFF. Not because we think we need one mind you. But because it is just what you do here. I am not even kidding.

We have known that having a "helper" is commonplace over here for a long time. It had no bearing on us deciding to take this move here to HK. In fact, we were kind of creeped out by the idea and we (especially B!) were adamant we were not going to indulge in this bit of the culture. It seemed weird. And it seemed like the helpers were being exploited coming here to HK to live away from their home countries and their families to work for low wages. It did not sound ok at all. And we didn't want to partake.

I cannot begin to write about how we have come to better understand the culture and come to accept that it's a win win situation for both us and our helper. I am not a good enough writer and I don't think it matters anyway. Unless you are here living it, it really will make no sense at all.

I am new enough over here that I can still see it from the other side. From the viewpoint that A) I couldn't afford help like a regular nanny or a cleaning lady in the USA. And B) I'm a stay at home mom. The least I can do to contribute to the household is clean it! So I understand that this whole thing may not sit very well with some people reading this. As if our sea view isn't enough, right? I know. ...By this point I am so excited about it that I am over feeling guilty. But I assure you, I did feel guilty for a few minutes when it was officially decided we'd do it.

So now what should I tell you? I should tell you that most domestic helpers here in Hong Kong are from the Philippines or Indonesia. From what I understand, in their culture, it is an admirable thing to do to come and be a helper. It's a great paying job for them and they get to send all the money home to their family. If a helper has her own children, they are raised by their grandparents. I understand that it's a common situation for families that have done this for generations--the kids are always raised by their grandparents while their mom goes and works elsewhere as a domestic helper. Their dad has a day job too of course... So then the helper currently working will go on to raise her grandchildren when the time comes. Crazy huh?

We were put in contact with the girl we are hiring by a word of mouth recommendation from another family that's here from B's work. Their helper's sister in law was here and looking for a new family. So we contacted her and she began to come on her off days or whenever she had time which has been once or twice a week since we've been here.

This trial time gives her a chance to hang with the kids to see if the kids like her (they LOVE her, especially D) and to see how I like her too. And it also gives us the opportunity to view her work habits and talk with her about what kind of food she can cook and what she is willing to do for us.

B just finally met her when he was home last week and gave me the go ahead. I mean really I had already decided but I had to give him the chance to at least meet her! In the process of hiring helpers, the husbands don't matter so much. It's all pretty much in the hands of the wife. Me. I will be her employer. Even though I don't even have a job/income. But I am married to the guy with the job/income... so it's ok. Again: weird. But whatever. So, since I found I can hire people, next on my list will be a masseuse. Don't tell B.

Our helper's name is M. She's Filipina, almost 28 years old, married and has an 8 year old daughter. She has a degree in hotel/tourism/restaurant management and worked in that industry in The Philippines before deciding to come make the big bucks as a domestic helper here in Hong Kong.

So it goes something like this: her current contract of employment ends at the end of May. Her current employer sponsors her current visa so by law she has to go back home to The Philippines to (enjoy vacation with her family!! and) await the approval and issue of her new visa which will be sponsored by us. Me. (You don't need a visa to visit HK, but you do need one to work or study here.) The papers have been submitted and should be filed with Immigration next week. It takes about 7 weeks. So by the end of June or the beginning of July, M should be back here in Hong Kong working for us.

When she left my house on Tuesday she said that she was so excited to begin working for me. She told me she has it all in her mind how she will do everything in the house and take care of it all so I can relax. Insanity.